At the core of every great conspiracy is a story and the cast of loyal participants, committed to upholding this polished version of events- A story told and retold, fortified by time and repetition until it hardens and cools- Before long it simply just. – is. Only those who look to cause trouble would be so brazen as to question that which has long been understood- After a while, it becomes only harder to question that which we believe we’re supposed to accept.
Parenting is a lot like that too-
In fact, when you consider its massive membership base and take into account the number of years the story only continues to be sustained across a multitude of generations – Motherhood and the parent-child experience is hands down, the single greatest and most carefully guarded conspiracy of all time.
They say that having a baby changes a person’s life completely. We think we know what this means, of course. There are memorable quotes that speak to the love between parent and child that is beyond comparison. No shortage of testimonials from the many Moms who’ve come before, offering us glimpses of the patience, sacrifice, and strength that Motherhood allowed them to discover in themselves- They never miss an opportunity to tell us about moments with their children so extraordinary; they seemed to shine with magic. Sleepless nights. Moments foggy with the haze of exhaustion The Pros always outweigh the Cons. So many of them have said they never understood the meaning of true love until the day they held their child in their arms for the very first time- All the ways our kids inspire us. The pride felt at seeing them conquer the significant milestones, one by one. The crazy things little children do and say- How much we worry about them.
They say, ‘It ain’t easy, but it sure is worth it” is the hardest job you will ever love. Time and time again we have heard these things and never really knew what they meant. How could we?
The conspiracy of Motherhood is in the story we continue to buy into and share and teach our children. Despite the general observations we have the capacity to make on our own, and the ways we have to come to know better – the narrative somehow remains just as it’s always been. If the irony of parenthood is having already survived the business of being children – then maybe the conspiracy of Motherhood is in the unrealistic ideal of motherhood we continue to pass down to our daughters. The collusion is the partial picture being painted around Motherhood and the experience of what it is to raise another life to be better and stronger than the fabric of our own- In this personal pledge of silence taken amongst the millions of women who have crossed over that ‘threshold” long before we would and came to know firsthand what it is to be so personally entangled in the experience of guiding a little girl into the woman that time will ultimately see her become.
Being a Mother is much of what you’ve heard. But it’s also everything nobody’s bothered to tell you. Maybe because behind the story of Mom, is a brand that looks to protect its own interests. Sell the dream. Sell the story. Insert happy, always adorable Imagery here.
It’s been said that knowledge is power. The truth is, the application of knowledge is where the power actually lies. So then why – after all, life has managed to teach us- have we continued to create for our daughters, an account of their childhood that in no way reflects the significance of us to them during such crucial years of their development? Why spend hours – weeks even – making elaborate crafting projects of their pictures – if as adults, it cannot give them any deeper insights into a history that is uniquely theirs?
Perhaps, the Great Conspiracy of Motherhood – isn’t a conspiracy at all. It’s the irony of the parts we’ve forgotten about what it was to be a child living in endless preparation for some mysterious time when we would be considered an adult finally. And maybe the most important truth of all is in the things we now know about what adulthood looks like when standing on this side of that line.
Until now, we haven’t thought to prepare differently for their future and the women our daughters will grow to be Before now, there were no options that allowed us to make a second significant contribution to their adult lives- when they just might need it the most.
How could there possibly be a way more valuable to chronicle the story of their childhood than through your eyes? Remember: for the first few years – their story is your story too. Without a way to reflect on all the ways that the relationship between you and your daughter becomes slowly established over that time, and be able to illustrate in real-time, the foundation you lay for them – what’s the point? If you’re going to create a record of her childhood memories – seems it would make sense to do so with her adulthood in mind. From Mother to Daughter Starring Mother and Daughter.
Kind of silly to think that before now there was no way to connect the dots between those two perspectives.